If I was a vampire

A post about the things I would do if time didn't matter.

In January I enrolled in my first in-person college class in over a decade. I never finished my undergrad and going back to school has been a contention within myself for many years. But, I did it! Today was my final, and while I didn’t manage an “A”, I did pass and I did learn that managing a class among my other responsibilities at this point in my life is very, very hard.

The class I took was called Vampires: Blood and Empire. It goes without saying that it was cool as hell and I learned a lot about vampires. On the last day of class our professor asked us “Would you want to be a vampire? Why or why not?”

To my surprise, everyone who responded (there were four of us, I can’t judge the whole class based just on us loud mouths) said they would not want to be a vampire for various reasons. My response was different:

“I would want to be a vampire because it would give me infinite amount of time to finish all the projects I’ve ever wanted to do.”

I’ve mentioned in previous posts that decision anxiety has been my number one enemy since I realized there were things I’d have to decide for myself in this life. Each passing day I realize how very limited my time is and how things that used to feel like no time at all suddenly take hours, days, and months to complete.

Time is situational and contingent on the person experiencing it. My time does not equal your time, and it certainly can’t be contained by numbers on a clock. However, nowadays it does seem to be highly influenced by the numbers in my bank account. What I have time for can be traced directly to what will make me the most money. And that’s something that makes me feel incredibly gross - but also something I know most of us experience.

Unfortunately, this isn’t a self-help post about how to manage your time. I don’t know the answer to that - maybe ADHD meds, maybe therapy, maybe whittling down the things you want to do into the things you need to do - I don’t know.

This is a post about all the things I would do if I was a vampire.

I would take a class about faeries. I would travel to Finland. I would write a children’s book. I would finish Detached. I would write a book about making sigils. I would visit every forest in America. I would adopt a dog. I would foster. I would get my teaching certificate. I would finish my degree. I would learn how to screen print. I would read more poetry. I would learn how to garden. I would learn how to woodwork. I would volunteer at the library. I would read more books. I would pick oil painting back up. I would learn how to paint with gouache. I would visit New Orleans. I would go dancing. I would make a video game. I would paint rocks and leave them at the park. I would learn how to make ink. I would bake a pie. I would have dinner with my friends every Sunday. I would learn how to make bread. I would join a band. I would write music again. I would learn how to sew clothes. I would learn how to use a camera. I would start a narrative podcast. I would learn how to identify trees. I would take some anthropology classes. I would visit every art museum. I would visit all the cafes in my city. I would build fairy houses. I would make hair accessories that look like flowers and leaves. I would learn how to do my makeup. I would paint my nails to look like magic. I would practice tarot reading. I would learn more about astrology. I would make coffee for myself in the mornings. I would play more with my cats. I would go on hikes. I would make paper mache bugs. I would learn taxidermy. I would learn about all the native flowers in my region. I would go camping. I would learn how to start a fire. I would paint a mural. I would do more collage pieces. I would learn how to quilt. I would learn how to crochet. I would learn how to repoint a chimney. I would learn how to fix the plumbing in a house. I would learn carpentry. I would practice using the clay wheel. I would make tiles to install in my house. I would volunteer to clean my neighborhood. I would go to the park with my friends. I would read at story time. I would go back to the ocean. I would collect sea glass on the beach. I would learn how to mosaic. I would try out for a play. I would write a play. I would make jewelry out of clay. I would make jewelry out of wood. I would go to more art markets. I would go to more craft fairs. I would pick cherries in an orchard. I would go to a jazz bar. I would go to more plays. I would write more posts. I would make a sketchbook tour. I would draw from life more often. I would learn how to use pastels. I would make an animated short. I would play all the games in my library. I would play more TTRPGs. I would learn how to play more board games. I would visit my long distance friends. I would visit my Dad’s grave. I would visit my Nana. I would make paper lanterns. I would bind more books. I would go to more open mics. I would show up more.

This is not an exhaustive list by any means. And who knows - maybe I could accomplish most of these things during my lifetime. But I’m not sure that I have enough executive function as the person I am now to do so. It would be much easier to just become a vampire instead.

If you were a vampire, what would you do?

xoxo Angela